Paris: a place where no one cares

One lazy afternoon in October, 2016. Along the River Seine. A gentleman. A piece of paper. Some color pencils.

With his shadow casted on the limestones on the old Bridge of Tournelle which are nearly four hundred years old, with me facing the Gothic spires of the Notre-Dame Cathedral, known for Victor Hugo's novel bearing an identical name, I was taken away by this moment, a Parisian moment. The autumn sunshine is giving out all its warmth and glorious rays, making everything merrier and mellower.

Men and women crossed the bridge connecting Ile de Saint-Louis and the "mainland", the historical Latin District dotted with tiny boutiques and universities, including the Sorbonne whose dome towers the whole district. Some of them accidentally casted a glimpse on the gentleman and his art project. Most of them went on their own ways, treating him as part of the bridge, part of their autumn afternoon. It is as if the Parisians had seem so much art that such a scene was woven into their daily life: nothing much to make a fuss about, nothing much to care about. It is, as I see, respect. No disturbance.

I was so much attracted by the interactions between the gentlemen and the pedestrians that I pressed on my camera button from behind to take possession of this serene moment. It had been a year since I landed on Paris. This picture well illustrates Paris in my eyes. A place no one cares.

No one cares about what you do.

No one cares about what you think of what they do.

No one cares about what you want them to do.

People spend each moment as they please. The frequent use of "s'il vous plaîts"(if it pleases you) is a linguistic mirror of the city character. When one asks for a favor, they would say "s'il vous plaîts". If it pleases you, please help me. What a considerate expression on the mental wellbeing of their folks!

Whenever Paris is mentioned, a tag that is dragged along is "romance". After spending one year here, my rippled mind gradually reached a peaceful state to think about the essence of romance apart from attributing it to the Eiffel Tower scene. Part of the romance, was born out of the "not-caring" spirit.

I do what I like. I'm not concerned of what you think of me. Vice versa, you can do whatever pleases you and that has nothing to do with what I think. In this free spirit, men and women hug in public, kiss in public, show affection whenever they feel it. It is a straightforward way of loving others and loving life.

Put in a Chinese context, these behaviors would be disdained as "loss of morality". What happens in private should not be exposed to the public. People will stare at you, using their eyesight as laser rays to cut you open. This is why in public, people don't share too much of their affections. The others care. Worse still, they judge. Over the long run, we are losing a bit of our ability to show affections even in private. We are shy to say "I love you" to our parents. We are hesitant to hug them goodbye before our departure to a long journey. When looking back at their vague silhouettes waving hands at the other side of the boarding gate, I always feel that something is missing. My emotions find no channel to reach who I truly care. This is the national shy character because we are afraid to be stared at. It takes courage to make you a focus of attention in public.

In the 1990s, Eileen Chang mentioned that China is a country with no explicite greetings. Before the 20th century, we bow to each other with two hands put together as greetings. The wind of modernization has blown away these old-fashioned greetings, but not bringing in any substitutes. Hand-shaking is constrained to working relations. Between friends, there is only a "Hi" or "Here you are", even after not seeing each other for years.

Back in Oxford, friends greet each other with hugs.

Back in Paris. my friends greet me with kisses on both cheeks.

In China, my friends greet me with a smile.

I have no intention of comparison to say which one is superior, but I had more than once feel an impulse to hug my friends that I haven't seen for a year back in China, but I tried to resist it as I was afraid to embarrass them. Now I regret it.

#Europe #Travel #France